Yolanda Renteria, Therapist & Somatic Coach
As a therapist, Yolanda Renteria works hard to “help people break generational cycles” in our community. It’s important work that those who identify as first-gen may be familiar with, given how normalized harmful cultural behavior can be. Renteria’s passion for helping others has always been a constant in her life; it’s what led her to pursue therapy as a career, and led her to become the first in her Mexican family to graduate college and obtain a Master’s degree.
“[Breaking generational cycles] isn’t only about changing patterns that aren’t working, but establishing healthier patterns so we can experience more trust, happiness, emotional connection, and safety in our community,” she says.
Scroll on to meet this week’s mujer de magia, who graciously opens up about deconstruction work, her self-care practice, and what being Latina means to her, in our interview below.
Grace Gavilanes: So many people steer clear of being vulnerable. You've done the opposite with your career. What inspired you to become a therapist?
Yolanda Renteria: Growing up in my culture, therapy wasn’t talked about openly. I didn’t learn about therapy as a profession until I became interested in graduate school. I can see though that my inspiration for the field was present before I even knew it had a name. I’ve always been interested in why people are who they are, I’ve questioned the systems we live in from a young age, I had a passion for psychology since my freshman year of high school, and I’ve always been driven to help others. When I read the description of “Community Counselor” on a flier at the University, it clicked immediately that it was what I was meant to do.
GG: You focus on "breaking generational cycles" — why is doing so important, especially in our culture?
YR: It all goes back to my own deconstruction work. When I started understanding how trauma is generational and how much trauma is passed from one generation to another, I wanted people to know. I started realizing all of the things that had been normalized in my own upbringing that weren’t healthy, all of the family dynamics that were taking place that lead to disconnection in relationships, and how many of these were considered common in our culture. It isn’t only about changing patterns that aren’t working, but establishing healthier patterns so we can experience more trust, happiness, emotional connection, and safety in our community.
““What has helped me the most to push against this feeling of not being good enough is knowing that I’m paving the way so people in my community can see what is possible for them too.””
GG: This work can feel very heavy. How do you take care of yourself during these moments?
YR: This is a question I have been asked so many times… I won’t lie and say that this work isn’t ever heavy, especially when people are experiencing a crisis. However, I will say that focusing on the positive changes in people’s lives helps this work not only not feel so heavy, but incredibly pleasant and rewarding. I like to see growth not as a goal, but as something that expands over time. This helps me connect to the growth of my client's experience in every session. I also implement a lot of self-regulation tools during the course of my day to regulate my nervous system during sessions, and I make sure that I get consultation if a case ever feels too overwhelming.
GG: What accomplishment are you most proud of, both in your personal and professional life?
YR: Gosh, all of it! I lived in Mexico and my dad actually got my brother and I green cards in case we wanted to work in the fields when we were older so we could make more money than we would in Mexico. None of my family members had gone to college — most of them hadn’t even graduated middle school. My mom has a second-grade education and my dad had to stop going to school in fourth grade so he could work. To come from that background and be the first in my family to get a Master’s degree, have my own business, have a podcast, have an online presence and a community of people who sign up to my workshops, be a University Professor, be interviewed and featured in magazines I used to read, work with mental health organizations I read about in grad school, travel the world, be a keynote speaker, be signed with an agent to write my first book, while also working on breaking generational cycles of poverty by creating wealth is all wild to me! It also makes me so proud to be doing well enough in life that I’m able to give back to my community by doing agency work part time.
GG: Hustle culture and burnout is so prominent in our community. How do you make sure to take care of yourself first?
YR: I actually went through a phase of burnout after I quit community agency work where I was working full time. I spent over a year creating a lot of time for sleep, slowness, cafecitos, and midday Marshall’s runs. That really helped. I think taking care of yourself to not burn out is a privilege not afforded to everyone. From where I am now, I’m grateful to have the opportunity of choosing to let go of the things that don’t feel right or aligned. I’ve learned to let opportunities go, to not say yes when I want to say no, and to stick to the things that bring me joy in the moment. I also try to allow myself flexibility to know that some things I will love for a lifetime, while others I will only love for a season — and that’s okay.
““Being a Latina in America feels like an even deeper connection, where all of our communities connect through our shared culture, values, and beliefs.””
GG: Imposter syndrome is a very real thing in our community. Have you experienced it? If so, how do you reconnect with yourself?
YR: Something that really stuck with me is that Imposter Syndrome doesn’t truly exist for BIPOC people (or at least to the extent that it does for others), because we are a part of a system that was not designed for us to advance. This helped me understand that it is normal for me to feel like I don’t belong, like I’m doing things wrong, like I’m not good enough, and why I was very nervous in new environments. I’m aware that I’m entering a lot of spaces that are new for people who look like me. What has helped me the most to push against this feeling of not being good enough is knowing that I’m paving the way so people in my community can see what is possible for them too.
GG: What does being Latina mean to you?
YR: I feel being a Latina is an extension of the connection I have to my Mexican roots. Just like I feel connected to my people, my traditions, and my culture, being a Latina helps me feel connected to the people across Latin America who embrace a very similar way of life and belief system than I do. Being a Latina in America feels like an even deeper connection, where all of our communities connect through our shared culture, values, and beliefs.
GG: What would you tell 15-year-old Yolanda?
YR: I would tell her to buckle up for the ride. That she will achieve all her dreams, even the ones she has yet to dream. That she will get to meet the sensitive version of herself again, the one she had to hide to protect her heart. That she will enjoy the depth of beautiful relationships when she heals wounds she hasn’t yet discovered. And that she will marry that boy with the green eyes she had a crush on her first day of high school.
